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Heavy

by Soupy

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1.
Blue 02:44
i've been drying out in this sacred house my skin turning blue as i watch the two of you turning inside out words fall out like heavy clouds raining down on you i've been painted blue i picked the flowers from up the street i hoped that they'd remind you of me i like the way you swallow the breeze i heave in and out, fall to my knees i went away, i saw the sea i went away, i saw the sea
2.
Mirror 01:41
the wall is covered in paper the paper's full of so many things so many things are very pretty the pretty things look back at me you have a heart, i have a hammer you have a blanket to cover me i am the coldest one of us, you are the hardest one to see without your body on the ground, without both feet on the floor, how grounded do you think you are? how is it that you could even tell? and when you look into the mirror, what is it that you wanna see? self portrait of your mother, that is all that you'll ever be
3.
4.
Heavy home 02:48
quiet days alone unmade bed, cold rain window lay around my heavy home quick and dead, wanting something am i a liar or am i just scared? blue-eyed seeker, warm neck lover tangled up with versions of me talking sweetly about nothing quiet swollen parts of me that think this has any meaning am i a liar or am i just scared? said you'll be here in ten, so i'll at least make my bed
5.
Sunlight 01:24
sunlight shining right in my eyes and i can't see anything, i don't know anything lift my face up to the sky this is the realest thing, breathing in healing look at the fragile state we're in tipping point, a baby bird a holy moment, heavy with the weight we're giving it was it even there? or was it floating in the periphery? was it even there? made of wanting, a dreamed up thing
6.
Moonlight 02:58
gone too far open a window i'm trying hard to keep myself composed gone too far where's the line drawn? stepping outside, face the night sky i was a fool, sizing up the moon i loved you, image in the pool in dreams i thought i saw it, what it is i needed i reached out to touch it i reached out cool, dark, water something woke up to moonlight rippling through my empty room my empty room
7.
Sleepwalking 03:40
walking around in my sleep how can i find my way home? wondering out on the street streetlight looking like flickering candlelight walking around in a dream people pass by me, i don't look up where am i, how have i been? feeling a weight too heavy how did we fall apart? were we in pieces from the star? i've been trying my best to make peace with how the world ends and my past mistakes but sometimes they get too loud and i cannot help but fall into the deepest state of helplessness and feeling like i can't escape what we've become and if i fall it's all undone i've been thinking about death and how it is that we are here and if could id fall asleep and never look upon your face

about

songs about the end of the world and the things that feel like it

credits

released September 29, 2019

seven solo soupy demos written between summers 2017-2019 & recorded on either a usb mic or a cellphone. this was my first time doing any self-recording / digital composition, i had a good time learning (~:

mastering by the sweetest heather jones of So Big Auditory in philadelphia

thank you for listening xo

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Soupy Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

as long as i've got my soup

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